about love and relationships

[Sati]

Dear Hari!
As I like this theme very much, i would dare to say something to Nanda and her friend here. I hope, Hari, you would not mind me doing that.
The desire to have relationships and love to a person are very different things. And this two processes are guided by different forces and different laws.
This is just a theme to think about... As for me - i dont think i would reciprocate with someone, who wants the relationship with me, but thats not a big problem for such a person - he would easily find someone else - who would reciprocate with him. Such a person is in need of love in general, not even in need to be with me, and i am, perhaps, in his imagination, one of those, who can give him what he wants. Even if he wants it only with me - its still not love for me - he wants to have me as his ....girlfriend, wife or whatever. So - if he comes to me with the desire to have relationships - i naturally refuse. I want to be loved - not posessed in any way.
If someone loves - thats different thing. I dont see much exumples of a real love without a reciprocation for a long time. My friends have told me about that and i agree with that. Love usually meets love. You know - reallity is like a mirror... So its very important, i think, to examine what is it that she really wants - to have a husband, to have relationship, or she just loves. And the answer to this question would very easily lead to the solution of such a problem. If she wants the relationships - why not go for it? If its love - then different situation. Nobody can prevent anyone from loving whom he wants, BUT without demand from him.
Ofcourse, the ideal situation is to have loving relationships - not love in one place and relationships in another place. How we integrate this in our lives - thats one of the main challenges. It requires faith and courage.
As for your question - i am sorry - i dont think you love by chakras. I think chakras are the means... like... when we make love - we use our hands and face and perhaps not only but we are not loving by the hands or by face, you know what i mean. I dont think love can be controlled in such a way that you can decide what to do with the desire - you can only repress it - thats what we all were trying to do previously.
But if the curcumstances are not for the loving connection - usually that desire does not come. If your hasband is far away and you think about him and... - that means you are not here and now and you dont give love - you want love and get a natural result from it. Because its unnatural if there is no exchange now. But thats about love.
In case of wanting the relationships or even the relationships with the particular person - it is hunger or thirst in psichological sence - in this case the sexual desire can manifest in a irrelevant manner - when it cant be dealed with in a natural way. Then its better to admit - i want the relationship because it makes me satisfied and to find a person who fits.
Otherwise - if its love - then its flow is always natural. If this is unnatural in one way or another -it usually means that there are other different things and desires that are mixed with love, then I think - its better to figure them out and try to heal yourself from it (at least thats what i do) then to repress our sensual nature.
Always easy to give good advices
Not that easy to be like that myself
All that i wrote here is my own opinion based on my experience and perception of life. "IMHO"

[Nanda-grama]

Thank you, Sati.

[Sati]

Nanda, as you have deleted your previous post - i have to delete this one because without your previous post nobody whould understand what i was talking about and why.
Good luck you you and that girl!

[Nanda-grama]

Sati, thank you, your understanding is interesting. But I would not want to discuss this topic with all members of this forum therefore I wrote it here in "discussions with Hari", not in "free exchange ..."

[admin]

I split this topic and moved it to this place. You can continue this discussion here if you want...

[Sati]

Sorry, i thought that after Hari's answer everybody can join the talk - at least its the rule of the forum...
Usually people who want a privat talk write privat letters - then nobody join.
Didn't want to hit you Nanda.
Oh I cant stop wondering how everything is just...non easy here...

[Nanda-grama]

It ir OK. Simply my friend asked me to put her question in the forum. But personally I can discuss such topics only with very, very close people. Or in the form of verses... And my Inglish is terrible. I'm sorry...

[Nanda-grama]

Sati wrote:
As for your question - i am sorry - i dont think you love by chakras. I think chakras are the means... like... when we make love - we use our hands and face and perhaps not only but we are not loving by the hands or by face, you know what i mean. I dont think love can be controlled in such a way that you can decide what to do with the desire - you can only repress it - thats what we all were trying to do previously
I understand it differently a little: I think love is natural manife station of what who we are in relationships with another person and is exchange of energies of what who we are with another person. When my energy flows from me it gets different colors due my chakras, due they's basic functions-in 4 chakras it is desire to give my love, to do this person happy; but in 2 chakra it is sexual desire. It is same my energy, my love, but it manifests itself as sexual desire. In 1 chakra it is the desire to possess beloved person, in 5 chakra it is the desire to associate and so on. It is possible to "clean" own love to try to connect by more "highnest" chacras to "clean" own desires. But it means that this are "high" and "low" parts of me. It means that I condemn some part of me. Or I am forced to mortify some my desires or to realise it in some another place. But by such way sexual relationships without love arise! Because person thinks that his sexual desire is something low, he should not express it to beloved person, he should only give to him own love and never to think about sex. Indeed, by such way all sexual inversions and many other problems arise. But there is another way-to exchange more completely by all chakras, to connect more complitely to accept own and partner's desires and to love one to another on all levels. Generally it is real mutuality, it is deep connection. It is interestingly that in Vedas the rasa of sexual love between woman and man is called highest. Because it is most complete connection, most complete exchange of energies. And this relationships involve and desire to do another person happy, and also desire of enjoyment, and desire to associate, and desire to understand one to another deeply, and desire to possess, and desire to be One being with beloved, and so on. Parental relationships already have not desire of sexual enjoyment, friendship has not also desire to possess, and other relationships have less and less desires, less and less connections in different chakras. And relationships with "all living beings" have only feeling of oneness on the level of being, without some desires.It looks as advanced, cool, high type of relationships but indeed it is most incomplete type of connection. It is only begining, impersonal relationships. I meaned it when wrote about manifestation of love through different chakras.