about friendship and help

[Nanda-grama]

Dear Hari!
Now you speak about a community. It very inspires! But on the basis of any community -good relationships between people are. I want to offer additional topic about friendship for the broadcast. Sita wrote about it in "free exchange..." and it seems interesting for me. She wrote that nowdays there are not real friend who is ready to accomplish exploits for the sake of the friendship . That in the main there is simply comfortable amicable relationships. And when she feels bad she remains alone. And other people advice her to be self-sufficient and independent on them. She just asks why then other people generally exist if a person is a main friend and an assistance for himself, if in difficult time he musts to survive alone. It is obvious for me that person should be strong and independent in order to have nice relationships, it is a necessary condition for normal intercourse, but why is it so? Where do causes of it go from? Most likely, there is some spiritual cause, may be, something connected with self-sufficient nature of Krishna...
On the another hand when I want to help somebody, often he continues to insist on his "misfortune" and doesn't want to do something in order to change it. Then I think that ,may be, only from my point of view it looks as misfortune, that it is very important and necessary for him condition(although he can outwardly ask about help)and that I must to respect his choice. I understand that only he can change something. But it verges on indifference. What is it -real help? Or is it enough if I wish good luck for my friend? Can you tell something about it? If it is interesting for you... Indeed I don't know this topic can be suitable for the broadcast or not.