Harimedia Forum

Dear Hari,

I would like to get some advice from you. Your advice always help me to take the right direction in my life. At this point of my life I am little bit confused. I have a job ( this is my tenth year with the bank). I find that it is getting to my nerves and I just find it very difficult to keep up with the stress and sales etc. At the same time I know i have to maintain my family and I find through my current profession I have the stability financially to keep up with the basic needs of the family. Now the other part of me is looking for devotee association and better spiritual life. I just cant find the balance. Sometimes i feel that I should leave the big city and move to a smaller place but i do not know how that will impact my family. Am I thinking very selfishly?

I am glad to hear that my advice has helped you. I appreciate the feedback. At times I wonder if what I write is of use. I spend much time to perfect my replies and were they to be less than useful, I want to know it.

You are not the only person who is confused, unsure, or doubtful at this moment. It is a common phenomena and relates to the shifting that is forcibly redirecting existence. How we relate to this shift is up to us. Each of us will be encouraged to examine our ideals and adjust them accordingly. Our consciousness is being stretched and our limits tested.

I think our sensitivity to stress has recently greatly multiplied. As the cloud covering the future becomes denser, deep seated fears globally awaken stress as our consciousness of the inherent instability of our situation increases. This awareness challenges our conceptions and our plans. Although this challenge is difficult to deal with, it is impossible to ignore! Perhaps the wisest thing to do is to ignore the urge to jump into change and observe with detachment what is important, what is valuable, and what aspects of our lives are worth keeping. After a significant time of consciously observing the structure and elements of our life, we can create a prioritized list that will form the basis of cool headed premeditated change.

Doubting your present course of action is not a symptom of selfishness. Examining life is a symptom of intelligence. Intelligent people periodically check to see if their environment is in need of rebalancing. While we are generally secure with the status quo, existence tends to draw fashionable energies into our lives which can insidiously replace important values and structures with less significant elements. The status quo we work so eagerly to maintain is often a product of forces that transform our lives into something we do not wish to keep when we are aware of their negative affect on our spirit. The broad effect of such hidden transformations are often protected against counteraction by our ignorant desires to avoid honestly examining the reality of our lives. It is wise to step out of our everyday wrangling with nature and look holistically at our present status. When we consider the potentially impending future in the context of our present situation born from our past desires and plans, we may or may not be pleased. Yet, just as we had the freedom to influence our lives with our decisions in the past, we can similarly do so today.

Inevitably, as we grow older, transformation of our living situation becomes less attractive. Instability is something we fear more than stagnation. Rare indeed is the person who takes a chance to change the basis of life, and rarer still is one who does it fearlessly, intelligently, and successfully. Seeing the odds against us discourages radical change; indeed, radical change is generally considered madness by our associates. In some cases it is indeed so, in some cases it is not. Only time will tell. Despite this, there are occasions when radical transformation is valuable simply because it has created movement within a dying environment.

Knowing you, I seriously doubt radical transformation would be beneficial. You are not the usual type of radical minded person who can throw caution to the winds for the sake of an idea. This is not the way of your DNA, not the way of your education, and certainly not characteristic of your personal history. Yet, you want more than you have now. You need to make a change. The shift has come upon you and you need to deal with it. This is not selfish.

What shall you do? I cannot answer that, but I can suggest that many people regularly change their jobs or living place. You are an educated and qualified person. If you are dissatisfied with your job and not specifically your occupation, you could maintain that job while looking for a similar one. Perhaps you might find work in another physical location which is more suitable for you?

I know I cannot live in a city, so I seek out the suburbs. My work is not bound to a physical location so it facilitates my desire to live in a peaceful place and not travel. One of my cousins works as a consultant, another works as a salesperson for mutual funds, and many other people work in similar fields from their own homes using the telephone and internet. Sometimes their company's link them to their networked computers or redirect a company phone extension to a special line in their homes. Nowadays your work does not have to be limited to the one bank and one town you are in. Then again, maybe a smaller town needs a highly qualified and responsible person like you?

You want to associate with others who think like you. I do too. But sometimes such association lures us into the inevitable politics that swirl amongst idealistically minded persons. Currents of frustrated expressions can eat away at the benefits of being in physical proximity of people who live their lives with stricter ideals; under some circumstances this can create more pain than living without their association.

Consider finding a job that is fulfilling and properly compensates you for your capacity and responsibility. Then consider a move to a physical location with a good ambience in proximity to the devotional personalities you wish to be near. With such a facility, you can come and go as you like within the context of the peace and stability you need.

It is not required that you find a solution instantly. Indeed, a rapid change to fulfill some idea would fall within the selfsame category of selfishness you wish to avoid. Research your options and move slowly. Discuss with those you love and come to a mutual conclusion. When the next step is sure and all concerned wish to take it, do so with confidence.

To conclude: Just because change is required does not mean it has to be made carelessly. One lesson of this shift is to do it with full awareness for the benefit of all concerned.

I hope this text is useful.