Harimedia Forum

There are 2 different points in my recent post viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1156

1. My questions. In fact, there are much more questions, and even more will arise after studying your posts.

2. My so called boiling. Probably the boiling forces you to dislike to answer my questions. Sometimes the boiling prevents me from treating your information seriously.

The word "boiling" is a straightforward translation of Russian word "кипение". Does the word "boiling" have the same connotations as the word "кипение"? The connotations are the following: just like boiling water is not calm and may even hurt somebody when somebody is incautious, the boiling person is not calm and may even hurt somebody when somebody is incautious.

Roughly speaking, my boiling stems from my thinking that you completely ignored this kind of questions over the last 15 years while I consider the kind of questions to be very very important (and even more). So I see the following ways to deal with the boiling:

A. To show me that my boiling is based on my incorrect thinking due to my limited knowledge of you and/or just my inattentiveness.

B. To carefully ask higher sources. The question is: is my boiling intended to change you, even for 0.5%? Presumably the boiling is intended for 70% to change me, but I can not determine precisely whether it is intended to change you. It is up to you to determine is it intended to change you.

While I clearly question your methods of assessment, I do not question your truthfullness. Also you have good access to higher sources. So if higher sources will reply that less than 0.5% of my boiling is intended to change you, then I shall stop to borther you and shall reask my questions in another, nicer way. Moreover, some my residual boiling will not perturb you, because we shall both know that it refers to me, not to you.

This question is highly personal (although not 100% personal), but I think I shoud ask it publicly because anyone may notice my attitude to you.

[just to place the thread above my recent thread]

Hi. I understand your desire, but as I have said to you in a personal message, when you ask me a question, or in this case, you write multiple posts, you place me in the position of someone who could and should answer you. From our many years of discussion, as I said to you before, it is obvious to me that you and I are not a good fit. I do not feel comfortable assuming the role of teaching you, or advising you, or even answering your questions. I do not mean to say I do not like you. I mean, and state clearly, that I do not feel comfortable answering your questions or communicating with you. Therefore, I told you before that I cannot accept the role you place me in when you pepper me with questions.

Why do I not feel comfortable? First, I see that your responses to what I write or say demonstrate that the conversation is not moving forward or even it becomes negative and counter-productive. Second, when I communicate with you I get the strong feeling, "why should I answer this?" Third, my time is limited, my energy is limited, and this situation is getting worse as the days go by.

I am a practical person, so when I see that an endeavor is not win-win or worth the effort, I withdraw from it when I can. If I was a therapist you paid by the hour, the relationship would make sense in that context. Because I do not work that way, there has to be something in it for me, or at the very least the interaction has to be free from stress. I honestly feel I give a lot to people. Sometimes I even get something too. This generally allows me to go on, but sometimes I see that a relationship is not worth the effort so I withdraw from it. This does not mean that I cannot answer you, but neither does it mean that the onus is now on me to consult with "higher authorities" to confirm whatever it is that you think or feel.

Sometimes you just have to accept that things are the way they are. I always wanted to help you. I appreciated your service in assisting me to setup the streaming broadcasts in 2005. I appreciated your questions and your insights. But after some time something changed. I tried my best to continue to be of service to you, but after a while I saw that I could not. I told you this. As far as I can see, nothing has changed in the interim time.

I know that you feel anguish inside. But considering your high level of intelligence and your personal conviction to find solutions to problems through your knowledge of methodology and hard work, I think you must continue to work on yourself. I do not see my assisting you as having the benefit you think it will.

I noticed a 30% ... 70% answer to my questions this year.

Namely, it was my choice to do not let you to understand me. (The choice was made around 2005). It looks bizzare, but is was so.

Then, obviously, I have got what I chose.