Harimedia Forum

Dear Hari,

In your lecture from 2007, "Not good enough", you conclude that the reason why we are "here" is our idea that "we are not good enough" and that we are striving for perfection and having the arena for it "here and now". You said that our inner desire is "I wish I could be like that". Actually, I have been thinking about it for more than one year now and have some questions.
By saying "not good enough" do you mean "not good enough as You" meaning "me" comparing myself with God?
I would like to start from this point before I ask more questions.
Best wishes,
A

What an interesting thought! It is not possible to compare ourselves to the Supreme without first separating from the Divine Source. When we think of ourselves as separate, we ask questions like, "Am I good enough for you?" When we compare ourselves to the Supreme, we naturally feel inferior and "not good enough." When we love someone with our heart and soul, we do not see ourselves as separate. The interests of the lover and beloved are one. There is only one of us in the pure, divine union of spiritual harmony. The idea of not being good enough does not exist, As soon as we compare ourselves, we are no longer in a union. There is now a me and a you. Enter duality, complete with the inevitable comparisons of better or worse. If we are honest, we will not think ourselves better, because we know who we really are.

Now why do we step back from our union with God and consider this comparison? Have we entered into a competion? Well, competition is not bad when it is done in friendship or love, but when it is done with a selfish attitude, we get in trouble. Is envy involved? Lust? Which comes first, the feeling that causes us to separate and compare, or the feeling that we cannot compare that causes us to separate? Or does it all happen at the same moment?

Thank you for this explanation. In the same lecture you stated that you did not like the word "envy" as a designation of our state of mind. You said that this word may have an unnecessary negative implication on us. I liked this statement as I protest when religious leaders and teachers make us feel guilty for being envious of God. Now you used "envy" again. Do you mean the same thing now?
You have also used a word "arena" in the lecture to refer to our place and time. It makes me think that we are making movie but the pain and fear are real.So, the inconsistency I feel is why we should inflict suffering on us if we are co-creating reality (or co-designing) to have an arena for our pursuit after perfection. Of course, the old "karma" concept shows up here but it seems to me even more inconsistent as you actually do not remember what you did previously wrong. Maybe the "real" suffering is needed for us to play for real? And then another paradox - the time when it all started - mentioned by you. If the time does not exist, "when" should not exist either. A concept that makes me really nervous sometime is what is the next step "when" this all is "over" meaning you have given up the idea of not being good enough. When means a beginning and an end but there is neither of the two.

What I feel attracted to is the idea that you can't appreciate something that you have but you will appreciate it directly when you lose it. We all know that "when" (again) we get something back, there is no guarantee of appreciating it forever. I see it in my family life. You tend to forget what these people mean to you when they are around, you suffer when you lose them, and again, when everything is normal, you think this is "nothing special". I guess the loving relationship is to always feel "special". So, the concept you discuss of "not being good enough" is it a part of "always remember Me, and never forget about Me" concept? Is this hard training we have to go through a sort of recalling process in case? And why are we so stubborn!
My apologies for this long text inspired by your answer.
Best wishes,
A

You are correct about my disliking the usage of the word envy as the primary cause of our residence in this realm. However, you brought up an interesting concept and I want to follow it. As seekers of the truth, we are prepared to fearlessly inquire.

If we feel unity with the divine, why would we step aside to view our relationship from a non-unified perspective? Cause and effect always exists, otherwise there could be no action. We accept spiritual action and it must have some cause. What could possibly cause us to see in this unique manner we never before considered? I can think of a few reasons.

* What if I were curious? What if I thought it would be a way to expand my love? Or what if I wanted to confirm my love or examine it in a new way? Because I am smart, I might consider a momentary detachment from the Divine a safe way to do this. See with new eyes, hear with new ears, explore a new dimension, and so on. But, I might not be ready for the consequences of this choice.

* What if envy or lust, two of the traditionally stated reasons for entering this world of physicality, are only experienced when one is not in the state of divine loving union with God? If so, then they are not the cause of the transformation, but are an effect of the choice to examine the relationship in another way. And what if, when feeling these two hitherto unknown emotions, we suddenly saw God in another manner? What if we looked back and said, "Hold on! Have these feelings been hidden from me by my choice or was I forced to not feel this way?" And what if suspicion creeped in and trust eroded at that point? So many what if's here, but we are examining a very difficult concept so why should we hold back in our analysis?

* Now there would appear to be a choice. Shall we reject these thoughts and feelings, consider our experiment as over and without value or further interest to us, or shall we embrace these new experiences in our search for knowledge? After all, we never experienced a "need to know." When one is in divine harmony, one knows. Needing to know is unknown so when faced with this need, a person who has an inquisitive nature might be attracted to examine why this appeared.

* Choosing to investigate further in an inquisitive manner may not at all be related to lust or envy. We might have simply wanted to know how and why we were in the place we had never been before. This feeling would be unprecedented.

* A choice appears, shall I neglect what I have stumbled upon, turn my back on my perception, and declare it a waste of energy? Or should I embrace the mood of what I seemed to have created to examine it further? I am unaware of the path I would have to take to find out more as I have no prior experience, no maps, no teacher to guide me.

But what initiated this in the first place? If this description is true then envy or lust are by-products of the initial mood that changed our direction. We still have to deal with why.

What if I became somewhat overwhelmed by the thought that God's all pervading perfection and acceptance of me would allow me to be more than what I presently was? What if I thought I did not feel my connection to God as strongly as I imagined others feel it in their relationship with the Divine? What if I looked at these other seemingly more connected persons and felt the essence of all doubt? "What if I am not good enough?"

Again, thank you for this analysis and presenting different concepts. No doubt, these are very deep issues that require hard work of mind, intelligence, and the heart.
I will focus upon three issues that you touched, and that I feel are crucial for understanding.

#1 * What if I were curious? What if I thought it would be a way to expand my love? Or what if I wanted to confirm my love or examine it in a new way? Because I am smart, I might consider a momentary detachment from the Divine a safe way to do this. See with new eyes, hear with new ears, explore a new dimension, and so on. But, I might not be ready for the consequences of this choice."

What if the Divine would like to see your struggle for perfection, your progressing toward him again, your feeling of separation for him in an environment that makes him "invisible" or present only when you so wish? So, this could be a mutual enterprise to increase the loving exchange. Maybe all these years of struggle, lifetimes and days spent in the oblivion are worth all these moments when you re-connect and re-discover your best friend again? Would it be possible with out this separation in the first place? On the other hand, the physical suffering you have to endure may be the consequence of your last sentence above? Maybe we are not aware of what awaits us, maybe the situation is very dynamic and the project or screenplay adapts all the time to what is happening and what choices are made by us? I have a deep conviction that the highest point in your life is when you re-connect and re-discover your best friend, there are no greater moments in your life. For some reasons, they do not last very long, however.

#2 * But what initiated this in the first place? If this description is true then envy or lust are by-products of the initial mood that changed our direction. We still have to deal with why. "

Maybe we are pushed forward by the will to examine this relationship in an extreme condition? However, I do not understand why we have to go through so many life forms (if it is true), so many individual physical embodiments and lifetimes, focusing upon apparently irrelevant for our relationship activities, literally waisting our time on activities that are far from this greatest feelings of all? Is it due to our free will? Or is it a way to test different roles before we know what is that we really want to do ? We may have a great time watching sport games, having parties, or intimate exchange, singing and dancing, skiing, being out in the nature, diving, swimming, helping those in need, creating music and poetry but and one point we have to face what we call "reality": ageing, diseases, and death. I think that these integrated parts of our existence must make sense in relation to our primary choice to separate. But what if we decide to separate again? I cannot buy this explanation that once you are back you are safe. This would limit our choices.

#3 *What if I became somewhat overwhelmed by the thought that God's all pervading perfection and acceptance of me would allow me to be more than what I presently was? What if I thought I did not feel my connection to God as strongly as I imagined others feel it in their relationship with the Divine? What if I looked at these other seemingly more connected persons and felt the essence of all doubt? "What if I am not good enough?"

This part was most difficult to analyse. "What if I am not good enough for You"? Now, you may start envying those around you? There should be a model for it in our reality. Do you mean a boy looking at a girl and thinking "oh, I am not worth having relationship with you"? I would like to love her but she would never accept me? Then, there is a place for both feeling of insufficiency and envy of others that are more fit in your mind.
Is the cure for it in accepting the illusionary realm of self-indulgence being "disconnected" and forgetting the love you once had?

You might want to think about all this and share your realizations as you get them! You now have a forum to do so

And if anyone else wishes to say something about this, please do!

Since everything we are discussing at this point is in the form of "what if," we are free to speculate as we like