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Dear Hari!
There is an interesting point in "Friendship with God". God said that there are two important questions: "Is it a great vision of myself?" and "How wold Love do in this case?" If one asks himself these questions in every moment of choice it will be very beneficial for him, his spiritual realization will increase very fast.
But I find a big difficulty in it. It is very hard to answer these questions. And what is more: I begin to speculate on "how wold the great vision of myself do in this situation?". And very often I imagine the actions of "the great vision" that do not relevant to me now. But because I think that it is "the great vision" either I put on me obligations and I feel bad about it after some period of time or I act not like "the great vision wold do" and also fell bad about me.
May be I am not on the level where one can ask himself such questions?

There is no need for me to further define or explain the concepts of becoming the greatest version of yourself or what would love do for these have been far better explained in Conversations With God.

But your question does not really ask me to do this anyway. What you really want to deal with is how to answer these incredibly deep and complex issues in your own life?

And the answer is sublimely simple: All you have to do is continue to try. This may sound like my excuse to write a short answer, but as you know, I find it hard to write short answers. This issue, unlike most of the others, lends itself quite well to brevity since the discipline lies in finding the answers yourself. The act of struggle to achieve clarity in these topics is the discipline required to eventually powerfully do them.

Yet, here are some tips. When it speaks about becoming the next greatest version of the greatest vision you have had of yourself, consider that you only have to take one more step towards that vision you now have, or have had before you lost confidence in yourself, not a vision you think you should have or will have in the future. This clarifies the task. First you must be clear on what is your vision for yourself and your future evolved state. If you do not have one, you should get one. When you get it, take one step toward it. When you are secure in that one step you have taken, take another step.

When it speaks of "What would love do?" find the answer by thinking of how you would want others to caringly act towards you or towards someone you loved were they to be in the same situation you are in now. This is similar to the golden rule (Do unto others as you would have them do to you.) and is a very practical guideline for all people at all times. You want others to deal with you in love and do for you the very best thing. You know how it feels when they do not do that. You therefore can simply switch it around and see how it feels from their point of view if you were to act towards them in a way you would not want them to act towards you. This usually rapidly clarifies the situation and gives a good indication of how love would act.

This technique of role reversal would be very healthy for all in religious movements. Most of them have something against women or others. They should reverse the roles and see how it feels. For example, Men are less intelligent. Husbands should be beaten like a drum. The men should stand in the back of the room and follow their wives. Men should be under control at all times. Men are lustier. Men are materialistic. Every man enjoys a good rape. And so on. You get the point. Now most will say that is ridiculous since women are different than men and really do need to be controlled. But this is their assumption, not necessarily a fact, or perhaps not a fact at this time in the history of the world. Scriptures aside, it helps enormously to uncover the double standards we hold when we do the simple task of reversing the roles and seeing the situation from the other point of view.

Dear Hari, I have found in B.G. the following statement: "ž ...the mode of goodness, being purer than the others, is illuminating ... " (14.6), and I have thought, that maybe when I feel the influence of the mode of goodness ("žThe manifestation of the mode of goodness can be experienced when all the gates of the body are illuminated by knowledge." (14.11)), my vision what would be a next better version of myself have a good chance to be korrekt. And when I feel "ž ... great attachment, intense endeavor, uncontrollable desire and hankering develop."(14.12) or "ž ... darkness, inertia, madness ... are manifest " (14.13), that means that it is not a right time to make conclusions on spiritual subjects.
Or it should be better not to mix this things?

I have found in B.G. the following statement: "ž ...the mode of goodness, being purer than the others, is illuminating ... (14.6), and I have thought, that maybe when I feel the influence of the mode of goodness (The manifestation of the mode of goodness can be experienced when all the gates of the body are illuminated by knowledge. (14.11)), my vision what would be a next better version of myself have a good chance to be korrekt.

Let me rephrase your statement, if you don't mind. When your awareness is illuminated with goodness, your perception of what is and what to do next is clearer. Since the concept being discussed by you is your idea of what is the next better version of yourself, whatever your idea at any point in time is would be correct since it is your idea and thus your next version. The difficulty would be if your idea was based on some misconception or illusion of some kind. In this case your version might not be better or even connected with your essence but a product of some misunderstanding you have of yourself. This does not help you as much as having a clear understanding borne of the mode of goodness. But any understanding of yourself is valid in as much as it is your understanding of yourself. All understandings are to be modified in time and when you gradually increase your awareness through the development of your consciousness the modifications you make will become more powerful and capable of fulfilling your innermost desires. Goodness, as it is defined in the Gita, certainly assists this development and speeds up evolution enormously. Clear awareness is a true gift for it creates a platform from which all things become revealed as required or desired.

And when I feel ... great attachment, intense endeavor, uncontrollable desire and hankering develop.(14.12) or ... darkness, inertia, madness ... are manifest (14.13), that means that it is not a right time to make conclusions on spiritual subjects.
Or it should be better not to mix this things?

If one is in darkness it means one cannot see clearly. Any decisions or endeavors made are a hit or miss type of guess. Certainly making definite conclusions about your life is risky when you make them during a time when you are clouded by darkness. Yet, sometimes we see that out of the darkness comes light, and taking a risk can be advantageous under very infrequent and specific favorable circumstances. However, I understand the mood of your statement and agree with how you have drawn your conclusion, for clarity comes from light and distorted vision occurs in darkness. If one can avoid doing it (and that is not always possible due to the pressures we face in life) one should not create any fixed ideas in darkness but should research and investigate until some clarity develops and then dare to make conclusions about existence. At that time one is more confident of what one is doing and therefore the risk factor is far less. However, there is always risk. The world is never under our control and the higher authorities reserve the right to sometimes play with us to either bring us to a better place or bring the place to a better situation. I suppose Arjuna would agree with that.

Hari wrote: The difficulty would be if your idea was based on some misconception orillusion of some kind.

I suppose, that everyone wants to be oneself.
What can than lead one to a situation of being something else but oneself?

1.When someone finds (or thinks he has found) a quick fix for his problems (an easy way to solve his problems), such as financial situation, live conditions, communication problems.

2.When other people are trying to define us.

Otherwise, if we always have a choice whom to be, why than we should choose (or even want to choose) to be something we are not?
Or what could be the reason for such an "illusion"?

When a person is unaware of what they are energetically, their conception of self is distorted according to how they concentrate their awareness. A person who does not understand the energetic nature of the source of their consciousness or even that their consciousness is their energy, may start to define themselves according to other factors that are indirectly connected to their inner selves. I am replying using a split definition of the self; namely, that which is external to the energetic essence of our being and that which is of the energetic essence of our being. The problem then becomes to accept this definition and act on it.

It does not seem that simply thinking you are not the body and accepting your spiritual nature are enough to define what you are. I know many people who think like this, yet are unable to connect to their spiritual essence and energy. It seems to be an impossibility that someone cannot connect to themselves, and indeed, it is impossible. Yet, we find that our desires to be something else than what we are drive our attempt to assume different roles, costumes, and attempts to expand the ways in which we relate to a variety of life experiences. Therefore, the question becomes how we define connection to our inner essence; how that connection is valued at every moment; and how this affects the decisions which guide us.

Some value the way in which their lives revolve around their bodies and their bodily achievements, their intellects and their intellectual achievements, or even according to the degree of pleasure they experience. The athlete, the model, the racer, the researcher, the author, and so on, might find their concept of self to be intimately linked with what they do with their strength, intelligence, prowess, beauty, and so on. There are others who are linked to the pleasures of their everyday existence and do not see beyond it. All of the personalities mentioned in this paragraph have limited their definition of self to that directly perceivable by the senses of their bodies and therefore they find it advantageous to relate to these bodies as their essential being, or that which makes their sense of being or identity a tangible reality. Sometimes, persons who accept this are also religious and accept they are essentially soul, and their physical actions are modified by religious work, the avoidance of particular actions, or the performance of specific types of activities. In most of these cases, their sense of identity is tempered with a religious fervor which transforms the mundane into a platform to reach the godly. Sometimes this is truly an expression of their evolution and is compatible with what they are; yet sometimes not. When it is not a natural expression of themselves, their actions can be seen to come from a platform from which they are not. Even though we might think these actions are still good for them, they may or may not understand that or receive the full benefits of these acts. Indeed, they may even be incompatibly altered by accepting such religious influences, but this has to be seen on a case by case basis.

When I say that someone is acting as other than themselves, I mean they may either have a conception of themselves that comes from an external source; a willful distortion of their reality that is accepted due to its attractive nature; a misunderstanding of how they feel, if they can understand how they feel at all; a product of trauma or confusion in their lives (as in the cases of those who were abused as children, were exploited for some reason, feel unloved, uncared for, or those who were deprived of essential elements of life); to living life in a dream due to an intense desire to be someone or something else (which may or may not be connected with something they wish to forget in this life); or any other reason that manifests when we reach out for a sense of what we are and find something else that seems more appealing or reassuring.

Obviously, no one thinks they are trying to be something they are not and most will object if one would suggest they were, but often we find that we need to be shaken out of our slumber and accept our reality as it is to avoid inadvertently breeding uncertainty, confusion and ultimately pain. Even though we all are convinced we are acting exactly as we are, often it is not so. When we are following something that someone else tells us is good, we are not acting directly according to our own realization. Yet one could object that it is good to try out new suggestions as new experiences enrich our lives and are thus relevant and proper. Although this is true, there are often times when the experience is contrary to our nature, or so we see later on after discovering the long term ill effects of the choice.

For example, no one has it in their nature to get a disease from unprotected sex or to become an alcoholic, drug addict, or whatever. We are introduced to these acts by others and even if we agree to them and embrace them as being not only compatible but enlivening, we may later seriously regret how we 'lost ourselves to this scourge.' When we are doing it, we think it is right. It naturally follows that part of this thinking is that these acts, feelings, thoughts, decisions, and choices are also right as they are a product of what we are and are therefore intrinsically connected with our inner selves. Those specific acts which we later on regretfully understand to have been in reality divorced from our selves, are those acts which come from acting not as the self but as a distortion of the self, a distortion which is created by our acceptance of energy external to ourselves. Any action or decision taken from the platform of our internal energy is by definition taken by the self and is an important evolutionary experience, whereas those actions influenced by external energy is not necessarily related to the self and therefore can have mixed results.

Due to our being intelligent spiritual essence, we are able to use these mixed experiences to our advantage and turn something negative into something positive by using the opportunity of having acted in error as the catalyst for positive transformation. Therefore, even improper action can be seen as good when it leads to evolutionary development, although it takes a longer time to get the same results that could be had by directly engaging in acts that are personally beneficial.

Now, you also ask why we choose to be something we are not. This is a good question, yet the answer is also related to the statements previously given in this reply. We do not consciously choose to be something we are not! Rather, we accept actions we feel best express ourselves at the moment we do them. Even when we choose to 'lose' ourselves in the sheer pleasure of the moment, we feel a strong urge from within to do so. The fact that we are confused as to what best represents ourselves or our long-term interests is not the issue to be focused upon. We always act in ways we feel are best at the time. That we are mistaken in these choices only manifests later on when we evolve and see the errors of our ways, if we do later see these acts as errors at all, for sometimes, when revisiting our choices, we see that situations were beyond our control, beyond the control of anyone, pushed forcibly onto us, or we simply had to go through them. Not doing something can be as damaging as doing it, as we have all experienced the intense pain of judging ourselves with: "Why didn't I do that when I had the chance?"

To conclude, we never act from a platform which is not connected to us and we never act as someone else than ourselves. We always do what we think is right at the time we do it, even though our decisions may not satisfy all our conditions for rightness and may be mixed with doubt, fear, confusion, and even dread. Yet we still act in this way since we are convinced that when all factors are taken into consideration, this is still the best course of action. Putting aside those doubts created by guilt borne of social convention, there are times when we receive messages from our higher selves which warn us of impending disastrous choices, but only one who has solid self-confidence and faith in their capacity to hear their higher self can transform their pending decisions based on these messages.

So again, when one is clear about oneself and can hear and see from the undistorted perspective of a spiritually aware consciousness, the choices one makes are usually superior to those made without full knowledge of all the factors that make up action. Therefore, it is usually better to act from the platform of the real self rather than acting from the platform of an assumed self.

I hope this answer assists you?

Hello Hari!
First of all I wish to say, this is a great site, and thank you for this way of communication, it really inspires me!
Although I've been reading many texts for a while, this is the first time that I write anything. (somehow the general mood here is very grave and philosophical, and, although I like it, I must admit that it made me feel a little embarassed to write .. Who knows, maybe I write something stupid... But, anyway, this is just how I felt..)
This topic is very interesting:

there are times when we receive messages from our higher selves which warn us of impending disastrous choices, but only one who has solid self-confidence and faith in their capacity to hear their higher self can transform their pending decisions based on these messages.

So, my question is, how does one feel, or know if something is really coming from the higher self? Because, in my case, I rather feel things than simply hear. I mean, I don't hear "with the ears", but it is a kind of an intuitive feeling, or something like that.
I always wanted to know what is the indicator that something is coming from the higher self, what is the feeling associated to it, because if I know, then it will make me easier to make the difference, and not make the mistake of not paying attention to it.
Because, many times I like to ask my higher self, or divine powers, or angels, to give me answers to things, and usually I get the answer by one way or another, but it never comes through simply hearing. When I try to hear, I get all kinds of confusing answers..And then I really get in trouble deciding which is the right one.

Hari wrote: I hope this answer assists you?

Sure, but I am thinking very slowly.

Sorry Maha2, it was a bad choice of words when I said, "hear the higher self" as this is not what we really do most of the time. You are perfectly right when you say it is a function of feeling the higher self and to some smaller extent of those faint words in the back of the head (mind) that make us wonder...

I am glad that you pointed this out for the sake of all.

It wasn't so bad for you writing in this forum after all, was it?

Thanks Hari,
(Especially for this encouraging Smiley!)
Surely I will write more things here, but first I want to download all the meditations and lectures and hear them. I wasn't able to do that by now, because I'm using a public computer, but yesterday a friend downloaded some lectures for me, so I hope you'll hear again from me soon!
Best wishes:
<---- Melinda