A Way to Get through the day! (Requires good English!)
Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 6:46 pm
From my Sister:
Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron. The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
Two peanuts walk into a bar; one was a salted.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:"A beer please, and one for the road." "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, GreenGrass of Home. That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome," "Is it common?" Doc says "It's Not Unusual."
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning," "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What!!? Because he s cross-eyed!?" "No, because he's really heavy."
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron. The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
Two peanuts walk into a bar; one was a salted.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:"A beer please, and one for the road." "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, GreenGrass of Home. That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome," "Is it common?" Doc says "It's Not Unusual."
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning," "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What!!? Because he s cross-eyed!?" "No, because he's really heavy."
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
